When I was younger, before there were computers in every house, I use to draw. I could make a whole day of it. If I was not drawing, then I was playing with Legos. Either way, that was my escape, that was my ability to express and explore. I would mostly draw comic heroes, faces, monsters, or spaceships. Graphite on notebook paper. Real simple. I was never great at drawing, but I was good, at least, I was good enough to build on it.
I let go of drawing in undergraduate school and I now feel like I am a disappointment to my younger self. I have taken a week off to revisit those drawing skills, but it is obvious that it is going to take much longer to gain anything back. I need a new element of attack for my layouts. I need a new mess as well as a clean approach and I believe drawing is the answer. When I was younger, drawing was therapy, I was never excited about it. I never really thought it could take me anywhere “exciting.” God damn to be young again. I look around the internet today and there is so much talent, it is just incredible, exciting, and a little intimidating at times.
I have been trying to figure out Graphic Design on my own for the past 10 years. It has not been easy, and I thought it would be walk in the park since my background was first in Art and then Architecture. Nope. However, I do feel comfortable with where I am with regards to what I have learned. The problem is, it does not feel good enough to break any kind of mold. I have just hit the proverbial creative wall with Graphic Design. Sure, I could do another layout or series on the political madness that is America, but my current approach just feels like I am manufacturing the same old schtick. I never want to feel like I am doing the same thing over and over again, that is for a machine to do. I want to break down barriers. I want to redefine what Graphic Design is. I want people to be excited about what they see. I want to create mystery, not confusion. Design is such a balancing act, along with some kind of weird mental gambling for anticipating some kind of reaction after showing a layout to the world.
At the end of the day all you have is your gut, but it sure would be nice if I could rediscover the skills I once had in my hands. A major goal of 2021 must be drawing practice. Here is hoping that I can not let my frustrations defeat this so-called resurrection. How long will it take? I don't know. Until next time.